Fighting doubt

Boy the devil has been at working on me this week. We had such a blessing over the weekend, but the devil can't stand for us to be happy and filled with the holy spirit. He has been putting doubt in my head these last few days. Saturday night when everyone else was being prayed for, I was praying so hard for them to do the same for me and Eric. I know we all lost track of time that night, but I would say that it was at least 45 minutes to an hour before Eric and I were called up to be prayed for. I know in my heart that God laid it on Rosie's heart to have us prayed for, but the devil is trying to make me believe it was just coincidence, that it wasn't God. I heard from Connie with the adoption ministry yesterday, and she said that so far everyone has changed their mind about adoption or they want help but don't want to consider adoption. They are keeping their babies because it means more money for them from the government. That just infuriates me. They are not keeping the babies to love them, nurture them, and watch them grow. They are keeping them for the money. What kind of life is that child going to have when all they mean to their mother is a pay check? You see, things like that just bring me doubt. I feel like I am being pulled in two different directions. My heart is telling me to trust God and he is going to provide us with a family, my head (the devil) is telling me it isn't ever going to happen. I was so fired up Saturday night and Sunday, but the devil wants to bring me down. I am fighting so hard to not let him do that. I need to stay strong in my belief that God is in control and he is going to bring us our baby. The closer it gets to the holidays, the harder it is for me to be patient. Everyone knows what a joy children bring to the holidays. Well for anyone dealing with infertility, it just reminds you of the void in your life each time the holidays roll around. The holidays have been one of the hardest times of the year for me. It was Christmas time last year when we decided we were ready to adopt. I have wanted and prayed for us to have our baby by the holidays this year, but with each passing day, the closer the holidays get, I start to have more and more doubt. Everyone says it will happen in God's time. I do believe that, but when you are hungry and feeling like you are going to starve to death, does it make your hunger any less if someone tells you you can't eat yet because it isn't time to eat, but we will give you something when the time is right??? I know in my heart God is going to provide, he was showing me that on Saturday night, so why am I feeling this way now? The devil. When we get on fire for God, the devil will do whatever he can to put our fire out.
God has put the word hope in front of me several times this week. The agency we are using is The Village of Hope. Someone gave me a copy of an article in November's Homelife which is about adoption. They mention Steven Curtis Chapman's organization called Shaohanna's Hope. I receive daily emailed verses from KLOVE, and this week they are about hope. God is trying to tell my that my hope is with Him. I have to trust Him. These are the verses I have received this week:
And so, Lord, where do I put my Hope? My only hope is in you. Psalm 39:7
Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep His promise. Hebrews 10:23
I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13