This Saturday’s Recipes by The Pioneer Woman
6 years ago
Friday, September 26, 2008
The Ups and Downs of Adoption
These last few days have been rough. Wednesday a lady called me to tell me that someone had just approached her asking if she new a good couple wanting to adopt. She had just learned at her bible study last week that Eric and I are wanting to adopt. She immediately thought of us. There is a teenager in Memphis who is giving her baby boy up for adoption, and he is due next week. There was a couple who was supposed to adopt this baby, but she just found out she has cancer. I just cannot imagine what she must be going through. To get to the point of just waiting for your baby to be born, only to find out you can't take it because you have cancer. Please pray for this couple. I have been waiting since Wednesday to hear something. To say the least it has been very nerve racking waiting on a phone call that never comes. Today I received an email from the lady who had contacted me, she said that they have already found a couple to adopt the baby. As much as I try not to get my hopes up, how can you help but not get them up??? We have waited so long, it sometimes seems like we will be waiting forever. Then to think the wait might be over next week! I have been fighting back the tears, and then I read yet another blog that helps me to get my emotions back in order. This is the blog I read: http://ourgrowingfamily02.blogspot.com/2008/09/glorious-holden.html Now you tell me God wasn't speaking to me through this blog. God knows what we need to hear, when we need to hear it.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Friends
Today I heard from two friends I used to work with. I haven't talked to them in way over a year. Misty and Heather, it was so good to hear from y'all today. I can't tell y'all how it made my day. I am posting this to remind everyone to keep in touch with the people who mean something to you. If you have a friend you haven't spoken to in a long time, contact them now. Especially if you have had them on your mind lately. That may be God's way of telling you that you need to contact them. You never know what they may be going through and how just hearing from you will make a difference in their day. I know time gets away from us, and we are all so busy these days, but we need to make a special effort to keep in touch with and get together with our friends. You never know what tomorrow may bring...
Friday, September 19, 2008
Just playing around
I am just playing around with adding pictures to my blog......
little fish.......
BIG FISH.......
little fish.......
BIG FISH.......Sorry baby, I just couldn't resist.
How God uses blogs
I am wanting to stress the significance and importance of the blog I read that helped change my life. I mentioned it in my first blog, but I feel the need to elaborate a little. Barbie said exactly what I needed to hear, at the exact time I needed to hear it. I had to get to such a low point in order for her words to open my eyes to what I was doing. It was exactly like she said, I had taken my eyes off the Father, and I was mince meat for Satan. I could have read those exact words, but they would not have affected me the same way if I had not just realized that things weren't going to work out with that baby, and been so depressed about it. If things hadn't happened the way they did I never would have emailed her, and she wouldn't have been able to get us in touch with the people who will make our dreams of becoming parents come true. As important as it is to me to become a mother, the best part about this whole thing is that my eyes were opened to God. For the first time in a very long time, I was able to see God working in my life.
Recently I stumbled across another blog. Let me just say this, God had to have wanted me to see this blog because I came across it by accident, then the next day I tried going back to it the same way I had originally found it, I finally stopped after over 2000 blogs. After going through all of that, I finally figured out how to do a search for blogs and found it. I think I need blogs for dummys. This one is also listed under my blogs, blessed beyond measure. It was so awesome to read a couples walk through the adoption process. Reading this blog made the whole process seem more real to me. It is hard for me to explain, but after wanting a baby for so long, I have lost touch with what it will be like to actually have one. It is like I have had this goal for so long, I have forgotten what it will be like when the goal if finally reached. I know you may not understand this, but reading this blog just opened my eyes to what it will be like. God used this blog to remind me that our day is coming. The whole thing seemed more real to me after reading this blog.
You never know how God is going to speak to you. It may even be through a blog.
Recently I stumbled across another blog. Let me just say this, God had to have wanted me to see this blog because I came across it by accident, then the next day I tried going back to it the same way I had originally found it, I finally stopped after over 2000 blogs. After going through all of that, I finally figured out how to do a search for blogs and found it. I think I need blogs for dummys. This one is also listed under my blogs, blessed beyond measure. It was so awesome to read a couples walk through the adoption process. Reading this blog made the whole process seem more real to me. It is hard for me to explain, but after wanting a baby for so long, I have lost touch with what it will be like to actually have one. It is like I have had this goal for so long, I have forgotten what it will be like when the goal if finally reached. I know you may not understand this, but reading this blog just opened my eyes to what it will be like. God used this blog to remind me that our day is coming. The whole thing seemed more real to me after reading this blog.
You never know how God is going to speak to you. It may even be through a blog.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
My first blog
This is my first attempt at blogging, so hopefully this will turn out ok. Let me warn you now, this is going to be long. You may want to go ahead and take a potty break & get a snack before you get started. Ha!
I would like to start off by telling you a little bit about what Eric and I have been through over the last several years while dealing with infertility. We found out about 7 years ago that we aren’t able to have children on our own. This was a detrimental thing to me. Hearing this is like hearing about someone dying. Your hope of having your own child just died. I know there were times Eric wanted to just ship me off to the looney bin. I would have days that I couldn’t go to work, or would have to leave work, because I just couldn’t quit crying. Eric and I were not involved in church, and I didn’t try to find comfort in God, I was finding myself blaming God. I became very angry with God. I just couldn’t understand why God would do this to us. Why would he give children to people who don’t even want or need them??? Years went on and I was talking to my boss one day. She had problems getting pregnant. She said at one point her mom and told her to pray that if it wasn’t God’s plan for her to have a child, then change the desire of her heart. I prayed that prayer and sure enough, my desire changed. I didn’t want kids for a while. I was scared of the way the world is going now, what will it be like in several years when my kids would be growing up. Eric and I finally did start going to church and we found a wonderful church. We couldn’t ask for a better church family. I eventually started believing that God was going to give us a child. I just knew we were going to have a baby, it was going to be a girl, and I wanted to name her Faith. Because without “faith” we wouldn’t have had her. It was really hard to have these old desires back and nothing was happening. Last December, December 2007, Eric and I were talking on the phone while he was driving home from hunting. I told him I was tired of feeling this way and I am ready to look into adoption. I think he was just waiting on me to get ready. We waited until after the holidays to get started. I was talking to people who I knew had adopted, trying to figure our what direction we would want to take. I talked to someone who had just adopted from Guatemala. I contacted the agency they used and we went to a seminar. Guatemala had just put a hold on taking new applications, but the lady with the agency said they thought Guatemala would get started again in June or July. She even said we would probably be making our first trip to see our baby by the end of the year. I called to check in with them in March and was told it was looking like it would be October or November. Then in June I called and was just told it would be some time next year. In mid July a guy from work came to me and told me that his wife knows someone who is giving a child up for adoption. He gave me his wife’s number and I called her. She said this girl has already given up 3 children for adoption. She was so encouraging and said she would talk to the birth mother. I waited two weeks and finally called her back. She said that she hadn’t spoken to the birth mother, but she had talked to her parents. She said they were happy to find potential adoptive parents for the baby. She told me she feels really good about this. Anyone in this situation, just a little bit of encouraging and you are totally excited. I was thinking this would be it. I waited a few more weeks and called her back. She still hadn’t spoken with the birth mother. This time she seemed to be pushing me in another direction. She didn’t come out and say this wasn’t going to work out, but she was asking if we have any other options or have we looked in to in-vetro. I just knew then that this wasn’t it. I know we had not gotten a lot of information about this situation, but I had gotten my hopes up. Here I was crushed again. I was getting mad at God all over again. Why would he allow us to go through this? At this point I had started making jewelry to help pay for the adoption. I had wanted a name for my business that would go with a bible verse. I named it Blessed Creations. The verse is, God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God. Matthew 5:8 I thought that this name had double meaning because when we get our baby, it will be our "blessed creation". Well, here I was mad at God and I did not want to keep that name for my jewelry business, and for that matter, I didn’t even want to make the jewelry anymore. I went home that Tuesday all depressed. I made it to work on Wednesday, but I was there physically, not mentally. I would be sitting at my desk and just start crying. Barbie Bassett has a blog where she posts her forecasts and faith. For any of you not from around here, she is a meteorologist. I had not read the blog on Tuesday. When I read it on Wednesday, it was like it was meant for me. This is the blog I read: http://barbiebassett.blogspot.com/2008/08/its-all-in-eyes.html She was talking about Daniel in the lions den. She made the comment, “If we take our eyes off the Father when troubles arise, we will be mince meat for Satan”. That is exactly what I was doing. Satan was having a field day with my emotions. I read on down and she was talking about someone telling her she needed to quit preaching on her blog. Because someone had told her that, I wanted to be sure and let her know she is truly helping people. I emailed her and told her briefly what we had been through and how her blog saved me, literally. She saved me from going back into depression and she saved me from turning my back on God, again. When she replied to me she told me she is on the board for The Christmas Village, which is a home for unwed mothers. She gave me the name and email address of a contact person. Well, come to find out they are in the process of starting an adoption agency. They should be getting their license in the next few weeks. Eric and I met with Buddy and Connie last Thursday. We had a wonderful meeting with them and we learned a lot. We had to turn in a written testimony, and a profile, which is like a scrapbook about us. They will show our profile to birth mothers and they will decide whether or not they want to meet us. Right now we are just waiting. Once we have a birth mother, we will then do the home study and background check. Oh, and I have left out one of the best parts, the cost. Most adoptions start at around $20,000.00. If we had gone to Guatemala it would have been between $30,000.00 and $40,000.00. I had wondered how we would pay for it, but I never worried about it. I just felt that God would take care of it for us. Well, to adopt with The Village of Hope, it will be around $5,000.00. I just know with out a doubt that God has led us to where we are now. It is amazing for me to be able to see God working in our lives. It has been a long time since I have been in a place spiritually that I can step back and see the things he is doing for me. I warned you this was going to be long. I hope I didn’t bore you to death. It is hard to portray in words what is was like emotionally to live these last several years, but I just wanted to try to tell what we have been through to get us to where we are now.
I would like to start off by telling you a little bit about what Eric and I have been through over the last several years while dealing with infertility. We found out about 7 years ago that we aren’t able to have children on our own. This was a detrimental thing to me. Hearing this is like hearing about someone dying. Your hope of having your own child just died. I know there were times Eric wanted to just ship me off to the looney bin. I would have days that I couldn’t go to work, or would have to leave work, because I just couldn’t quit crying. Eric and I were not involved in church, and I didn’t try to find comfort in God, I was finding myself blaming God. I became very angry with God. I just couldn’t understand why God would do this to us. Why would he give children to people who don’t even want or need them??? Years went on and I was talking to my boss one day. She had problems getting pregnant. She said at one point her mom and told her to pray that if it wasn’t God’s plan for her to have a child, then change the desire of her heart. I prayed that prayer and sure enough, my desire changed. I didn’t want kids for a while. I was scared of the way the world is going now, what will it be like in several years when my kids would be growing up. Eric and I finally did start going to church and we found a wonderful church. We couldn’t ask for a better church family. I eventually started believing that God was going to give us a child. I just knew we were going to have a baby, it was going to be a girl, and I wanted to name her Faith. Because without “faith” we wouldn’t have had her. It was really hard to have these old desires back and nothing was happening. Last December, December 2007, Eric and I were talking on the phone while he was driving home from hunting. I told him I was tired of feeling this way and I am ready to look into adoption. I think he was just waiting on me to get ready. We waited until after the holidays to get started. I was talking to people who I knew had adopted, trying to figure our what direction we would want to take. I talked to someone who had just adopted from Guatemala. I contacted the agency they used and we went to a seminar. Guatemala had just put a hold on taking new applications, but the lady with the agency said they thought Guatemala would get started again in June or July. She even said we would probably be making our first trip to see our baby by the end of the year. I called to check in with them in March and was told it was looking like it would be October or November. Then in June I called and was just told it would be some time next year. In mid July a guy from work came to me and told me that his wife knows someone who is giving a child up for adoption. He gave me his wife’s number and I called her. She said this girl has already given up 3 children for adoption. She was so encouraging and said she would talk to the birth mother. I waited two weeks and finally called her back. She said that she hadn’t spoken to the birth mother, but she had talked to her parents. She said they were happy to find potential adoptive parents for the baby. She told me she feels really good about this. Anyone in this situation, just a little bit of encouraging and you are totally excited. I was thinking this would be it. I waited a few more weeks and called her back. She still hadn’t spoken with the birth mother. This time she seemed to be pushing me in another direction. She didn’t come out and say this wasn’t going to work out, but she was asking if we have any other options or have we looked in to in-vetro. I just knew then that this wasn’t it. I know we had not gotten a lot of information about this situation, but I had gotten my hopes up. Here I was crushed again. I was getting mad at God all over again. Why would he allow us to go through this? At this point I had started making jewelry to help pay for the adoption. I had wanted a name for my business that would go with a bible verse. I named it Blessed Creations. The verse is, God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God. Matthew 5:8 I thought that this name had double meaning because when we get our baby, it will be our "blessed creation". Well, here I was mad at God and I did not want to keep that name for my jewelry business, and for that matter, I didn’t even want to make the jewelry anymore. I went home that Tuesday all depressed. I made it to work on Wednesday, but I was there physically, not mentally. I would be sitting at my desk and just start crying. Barbie Bassett has a blog where she posts her forecasts and faith. For any of you not from around here, she is a meteorologist. I had not read the blog on Tuesday. When I read it on Wednesday, it was like it was meant for me. This is the blog I read: http://barbiebassett.blogspot.com/2008/08/its-all-in-eyes.html She was talking about Daniel in the lions den. She made the comment, “If we take our eyes off the Father when troubles arise, we will be mince meat for Satan”. That is exactly what I was doing. Satan was having a field day with my emotions. I read on down and she was talking about someone telling her she needed to quit preaching on her blog. Because someone had told her that, I wanted to be sure and let her know she is truly helping people. I emailed her and told her briefly what we had been through and how her blog saved me, literally. She saved me from going back into depression and she saved me from turning my back on God, again. When she replied to me she told me she is on the board for The Christmas Village, which is a home for unwed mothers. She gave me the name and email address of a contact person. Well, come to find out they are in the process of starting an adoption agency. They should be getting their license in the next few weeks. Eric and I met with Buddy and Connie last Thursday. We had a wonderful meeting with them and we learned a lot. We had to turn in a written testimony, and a profile, which is like a scrapbook about us. They will show our profile to birth mothers and they will decide whether or not they want to meet us. Right now we are just waiting. Once we have a birth mother, we will then do the home study and background check. Oh, and I have left out one of the best parts, the cost. Most adoptions start at around $20,000.00. If we had gone to Guatemala it would have been between $30,000.00 and $40,000.00. I had wondered how we would pay for it, but I never worried about it. I just felt that God would take care of it for us. Well, to adopt with The Village of Hope, it will be around $5,000.00. I just know with out a doubt that God has led us to where we are now. It is amazing for me to be able to see God working in our lives. It has been a long time since I have been in a place spiritually that I can step back and see the things he is doing for me. I warned you this was going to be long. I hope I didn’t bore you to death. It is hard to portray in words what is was like emotionally to live these last several years, but I just wanted to try to tell what we have been through to get us to where we are now.
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